i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
