guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
