So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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