so explain again why im purple
no
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
