That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
