Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
