so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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