Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
