first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
