NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
