Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
