I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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