CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
