ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
