watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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