Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
