You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
