hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
