I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
