I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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