That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
