No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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