Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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