just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
