I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
