I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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