So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
