fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
