actually, I'm a sock model
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
