let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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