Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
