My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
