so that wasnt chicken after all
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize