dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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