When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
