I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
