I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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