I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
