remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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