laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
