Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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