remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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