It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
