I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
