Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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