Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
