Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
