The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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