I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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