When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
