Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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